I wasn’t expecting this. I was completely caught off guard. I didn’t even think babies could throw tantrums!
I look at my son and remember what he was like as a baby. Sweet, curious, and happy, and entirely too attached to me. Not much seemed to bother him. He only complained when I tried to feed him anything he didn’t want (he still does). Even when he knocked a toy to the floor, he didn’t complain; he just found something else.
My daughter is different. She’s super attached to me, more than her brother. She’s curious and independent and so incredibly stubborn. She tries and tries and tries and cries when she can’t. I know she’s going to be a handful.
But when she was 8.5 months, we had to take a small, swallowable toy away. She screamed. She cried. She threw her body backwards in my lap and kicked her little legs. She arched her back and shrieked.
My husband and I were caught off guard. Was our sweet little girl, our 8 month baby, throwing a tantrum? Was that possible? It sure looked a lot like her older brother’s tantrums.
A tantrum occurs when a child gets so frustrated they are incapable of voicing their needs. They have worked themselves up and now cannot regulate how they feel to say what they need. They are frustrated.
By that definition, yes, my daughter was having a tantrum. We took something away and she got frustrated. Unlike an older child, she couldn’t say what was wrong; she could only react. By throwing a tantrum.
We didn’t know what to do. Doing what we do for our toddler wasn’t going to work. We couldn’t ignore her or put her in time out. But she also wouldn’t let me hold her and comfort her. I just had to hold her until her little body became pliant enough for me to hold her to my heart and kiss her little head. It only lasted a minute or two, but it wasn’t fun.
She’s had a few more tantrums since. I’m still learning how to take care of her. But here’s what usually works:
- Stay calm. Just like with my toddler, I stay calm. I know exactly why she’s upset, but I can’t give in because she usually wants to put something small and inedible in her mouth. So I stay calm and speak calmly and soothingly.
- I explain what happened to her. She may not understand me, but I explain everything to my son, so I explain everything to her. I tell her why she can’t have it.
- I hold her loosely. She stays in my lap, but I’m not going to try to hold her close. She keeps her body rigid, so I don’t want to hold her too tightly. She just lies in my lap through it all. When she goes slack, I hold her close.
It passes very quickly and I always offer her tons of love. I have good reasons for saying no. She will understand one day. For now, we just have to weather these baby tantrums. It’s the only way she can tell us she’s unhappy, upset, and frustrated.
Have you experienced this? What has helped you?
8 thoughts on “Baby Tantrums”
My youngest started tantrums early! I have no words of advice other than you’re not alone!!
Thanks! It’s good to know there are other early tantrumers.
I can relate, Forrest tantrum was at 5 mths in daddy’s arms. He freaked she freaked, I came in to a screaming baby who made herself so mad she turns her face red eyebrow crazy red. Now we have learned to talk her through it, every time gets better. Hang in there.
Wow, that sounds kind of scary! But that’s great you can work with her on it.
It is not that rare that children that age throws a tantrum. But I think you are doing good.
My oldes son had such bad tantrums I had to put him in time out before he turned 13 months. First day he was in time out 17 times. After that hardly ever. I just put him in his room and let him scream and yell until he stopped, then I opened the door and asked if he was ready to com out. If he started yelling again- I just closed the door and said he was welcome out when he was behaving.
And so we did this until he was a happy camper and understood that sitting in there screaming was not working. It was not fun and I was so tired at the end but it worked. Never had to do that with any of the other three so that proves all children are different and not all children can be treated alike. 🙂
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Thanks! My son didn’t start throwing tantrums until he was 2 so my daughter really caught us off guard. So glad to know she isn’t alone.
My little girl 18 months doesn’t throw tantrums but she hits out when frustrated so I have to let her be alone on the floor and bring her in for hugs after she is feeling better. She started that really early– think first day. Whenever she was unhappy she would thrash her head violently. Now it’s hands and feet. It’s getting easier but I still have to be careful.
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Wow, that sounds scary, especially since it started so young. Hope it gets better!
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