Thank you so much to Stephen T of Armageddon Cafe for the nomination! Check out his amazing blog, and pick up a free copy of his book!
You can’t spoil a baby.
-Dr. Jules Abrams
Even though I’m more of a behaviorist, the psychology graduate program I attended was heavily psychoanalytic. This quote comes from my first psychoanalytic professor, an elderly man who still had a bit of a sense of humor and showed glimmers of an interesting personality.
Dr. Abrams said this in class one day, not as part of a lecture, but just in terms of caring for a baby. Since my husband and I were already planning out when we would have our first child, I noted this in the margins of my notebook and dedicated it to memory.
It got me through the hard times when my son was a newborn. I often wondered if I was spoiling him by letting him nap on me and not sleep training him, taking cues from him and doing what he wanted me to do, and stopping everything if he seemed uncertain or upset. But I remembered what Dr. Abrams said. No, I couldn’t possibly be spoiling him. I was seeing to his needs and doing everything in my power to care for him and make him happy to help foster a healthy relationship based on love and trust with my child.
I don’t actually know if this is true, but it helped me survive two babies without losing my mind and helped me enjoy that first year of life. I’ll always remember my babies napping on me, snuggled in my arms, with love and fondness, and will miss it one day. Good thing I have 2 years worth of memories, and more!