I’m exhausted. I don’t think I can hang on for 10 more days. Actually, I’m surprised I made it this far.
Going into November, I knew it was going to be tough. We’re moving at the end of the month and I had decided to do NaNo all while raising 2 toddlers. Even though I had it all planned out, life still happens and I didn’t count on plain exhaustion setting in.
Packing with a 4 year old and 18 month old isn’t fun. There are constant pleas of “play with me” and the cries of a little girl who only wants to be held. I’ve been lucky to get a box or two packed a day, but, considering we move in less than 2 weeks, that pace is not going to cut it. Our home is a mess and there are boxes everywhere. It’s a little stressful.
But my 4 year old really has been an angel. He’s learning to keep himself occupied, or he just jumps on my bed. I always make sure there are pockets of time where we must play, but he’s really been pretty amazing.
Then there’s his 1.5 year old sister. She’s like cling wrap, the way you wish it would work. If I’m not holding her, I absolutely must remain in her line of sight, otherwise the shrieking starts. But I also think she’s going through a sleep regression or teething. Or, more likely, both. I’m lucky to get 4 hours of broken sleep at night, and then I spend half the day telling her I am not a chew toy. Though it would explain her obsession with frozen waffles…
But the hardest part is how tired and fussy she is all day. I’ve mastered packing with one hand and can practically sense when she’s going to go pull everything out of the trash bags.
I had thought naptime and bedtime were going to be my pockets of blissful writing time. I would have their 2 hour naptime to just write. I could easily bang out those 1667 words. No problem.
And it’s not a problem. I can do about 2000. But I’m a plotter and decided to go the pantser route. It’s been interesting and fun, but I’m getting frustrated. I know the general direction and how it ends and I have a good idea of what I want to happen in the middle, but it’s soooo slow. I feel like the pacing is too slow and there’s too much talking. I’m enjoying the world building, but everything else is getting on my nerves. I’m at over 35,000 words and just now getting to a quarter of the way through.
Or, you know, I’m just an exhausted mom trying to write 50,000 words in 30 days while cramming our whole lives into white boxes.
So, packing must get done. The children must be cared for. I absolutely do not need to do 50,000 words. So, I’m not. If I do, great, but, from here on out, I’m going to try just writing every other day instead of every day for however long it takes me to either finish or thoroughly hate this version (likely not too much longer). Maybe I’ll finally get the hang of this story in another 20 years.
And there you have it. The intersection of a mom of two toddlers trying to pack up and write 50,000 words in one month is just plain exhaustion. Remind me to never repeat this experience again.