On Tuesdays, I usually share the stories, writing related posts, book reviews, and book releases I’ve come across over the past week. Last week I was fortunate to host an author and his nonfiction book Taking Action for a Better Tomorrow. I had planned on doing another stories, etc. post today, but I must also be a person with a life to live.
I’m a busy wife and mother. Even though I never, ever had any plans of being a stay-at-home mom, it’s where I’ve found myself for nearly three years now. Recently, thanks to a lovely mom sharing another lovely mom’s story, I’ve been trying to take my role to heart, trying to set aside the resentment I sometimes feel about not having my own career. It’s still difficult to swallow, but now I find I’m more interested in putting more of myself into my family.
There have been many times over the past couple of years that I’ve considered giving up blogging. It’s time consuming, as we all know very well, especially for those bloggers seeking to expand and grow. There’s not just writing, editing, and posting, but also maintenance behind the blog that must be done. And then there’s social media and promotion. I too often have found myself sucked into doing things for the sake of this blog, found myself craving more time to work on it, and being bitter when I felt like time was being stolen from me.
There must be a balance between blogging and life. No matter how much I’d sometimes like this blog to turn into something, I’m settling down to the idea of it being little more than a hobby. I have a life that needs to be lived. I have rapidly growing children who will only ever grow up. I have a husband who works long hours and needs the attention and adoration of his wife. Those are the roles that need to move to the forefront of my life.
This past week has been focused on living instead of blogging. I’m behind on replying to comments here and on Instagram. I’m behind on reading posts. I can’t even remember the last time I scrolled through Instagram. The last time I checked Twitter was some time ago when the author of my absolute favorite cozy mystery series, The Coffeehouse Mysteries, contacted me to offer a signed copy of the soon-to-be published 18th book in the series. I’ve felt some guilt about being behind, but my relationships with my husband and children are stronger, and I’ve really enjoyed spending the time I would have spent blogging on them instead. We’re happier, though, for some reason, our 2 year old little girl has been becoming quite the tantrum queen…
Well, all this is just to say there won’t be another Stories and Writing Related Posts I’ve Enjoyed from the Blogging Community post this week. I didn’t have the time. Or, actually, I chose to not put in the time. After all, living must come first. Living a life for the sake of a blog or even simply for a blog or just for a career I don’t actually need and that would only serve my own personal needs isn’t for me.
With the holidays coming up, I have one more full week before I take Thanksgiving week off. Instead of sharing stories, etc., I’ll be sharing some of my favorite bloggers. After my break, I’ll only be posting for 3 weeks before I take 2-3 weeks off for the winter holidays and simply taking a good breather to sort out my mental house.
I love this blog and the community. I’m not going anywhere, and I even have nutty plans of starting a second, much more relaxed book and baking blog. But I do need to spend more time on my family. Even though I feel self-imposed pressure to have my own career just to make my Master’s Degree feel worthwhile, my husband will always see my role as a stay-at-home mom as more important than what he does, and he’s a cancer researcher! It’s time for me to see myself the same way. After all, I do get to use all of my training and education with my kids, and sometimes with him, so it will always be worthwhile. He’s happy as the breadwinner. Besides, one day the kids will both be in school. I’ll eventually have time. But I will no longer sacrifice what time I have for them to blog and do social media. I’m not sure what changes I’ll be making, but I will be making them over the next month or so.
I still want to support writers and authors. I still want to do everything I’m already doing. I’m always baking. I actually have plans to try making my very first apple pie from scratch in just a few hours. I’m afraid I have an addiction to books and can’t stop picking up my Kindle whenever both kids are occupied. There will always be things for me to write and share. But I’ll be putting more effort into living than blogging. I’m balancing myself in the opposite way. Instead of leaning towards blogging with the hope of turning it into something in a few years, I’m leaning towards my family and just waiting to see what the future will bring me. I’ve given up on fighting life and trying to make my goals, dreams, and ideas come to fruition. Something always gets thrown in my path. So I’m letting go. I’m going to put in what I can and no more. As we all know, it’s a balancing act. It’s all about priorities. I’ve decided it’s time for me to re-evaluate mine.
Next week, I’ll be sharing a handful of favorite bloggers. The following week will be a much needed break. Until then!
Stop by here for more on my life outside of blogging.
The Lily Cafe 
Beautiful. And you are exactly right. Your husband and kids are your first priorities right now. There will be seasons in the future where you may have more time but right now your time is best spent on those most important relationships. Thanks for the reminder that while we love our blogs, family comes first.
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Thank you so much. It’s so easy to shift priorities to what may be more personally interesting, but it’s so important to really determine what is most important right now.
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It’s nice to know your plan, but you don’t need to tell us when you are on a blog break, we will for sure miss you (I hope this is not sounding like a comment to make pressure on your blogging speed). I find your blog very professional, but even pro journalist take unannounced “holidays” or creative breaks. The muse needs to rest, too. As a blogger mum (?) I would think about the blog like what it is, some kind of diary. And you’re lucky if you have each day something profound to tell to the world. Very lucky 🙂
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Thank you so much. Blogging is hard and so time consuming, so I absolutely agree holidays are a must. It’s very nice to take a break and disconnect sometimes. I am indeed a blogging mom, and am definitely feeling the strain of doing both. It has been nice to write about and reflect on my motherhood journey every Monday. There are so many memories to recover.
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I’ve been feeling similar feelings recently (life is to be lived and enjoyed with my wife rather than spending lots of time stressing and super-focused on my short stories and/or YouTube channel and/or writing/publishing a book). It’s nice to know I’m not alone in that.
My wife and I only got married last year and we’ve just moved continents for an unspecified amount of time and I’ve been enjoying it and spending time outside doing things, living life, meeting my tiny 18 month old niece, and I haven’t kept up all the bits of stuff I had been doing and I haven’t written something every day, and I haven’t tried so hard to be active on social media but I might not ever get a chance like this again so it’s worth it, right?
I know it’s not the same as watching and helping your own kiddos grow but my life isn’t likely to go the way of kids (for a multitude of reasons). Enjoy your time limited experiences, it’s worth it.
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Yes, it’s so nice to know there are others who feel the same way. I have noticed you haven’t posted much lately, but it sounds like your life has been full of so many positive changes, and I absolutely agree that living life is much more important than trying to keep up with blogging and social media. Once in a lifetime opportunities only happen once. The Internet can always wait.
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Blogging is an outlet for me and I no longer feel guilty if I don’t post on it. When blogging was a bigger thing 13 years ago, I had actual followers and worried about not posting but now, this is for fun and some weeks I’m just not going to be able to post. I don’t have a business to keep in front of people anymore so missing a few days won’t hurt 😉 enjoy your breaks and we will still be around when you check in.
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I look forward to getting to that point of not feeling guilt. It’s a strange feeling trying to want to get it to take off while simultaneously wanting to just stop. I don’t know about other readers, but, personally, I read so many blogs that I just can’t keep track of who posts on which day, so I never notice when a blogger I’m not an avid reader of goes silent until a few months later. The idea of turning a blog into a business is nice, but thinking of it as an outlet is probably the better thought. Less pressure that way.
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That’s what I had to do when my photography business fell apart. I thought I could use the blog to promote it but it never worked. Now I’m writing and keep thinking I could use it to promote that but every time I’ve tried to be a marketer it’s done nothing but make me miserable. I just have to let go and decide that God obviously wants me where I am and making money for my family is not something he wants me to do.
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I feel much the same way. There’s a plan for each of us and it’ll probably be easier to fulfill it if we just let go. It’s sometimes frustrating, though, because I keep thinking just a little more work might be enough this time, but it always falls apart. Then again, it’s not worth it to work hard and then feel miserable.
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It’s the same with me. I kept pushing for the photography business and I’d think “This is it..this is what will make it finally take off…” Bam. Flat on my face again. I’ve decided to never try to make the blog a business now because I am a total failure at the business thing.
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I can completely relate, except for the hubby that believes being a stay at home mum is more important than his job (one of the reasons I’m single again) but the past week and a half I’ve had a house full of sick kids and have been too exhausted to blog so for the first time in 3 months I’ve gone nearly a week without blogging and my last post was just publishing someone else’s story. I haven’t had the motivation to write and it’s ok. I do need to make something of it though, within the next year as I don’t have another income source and working from home is important as I really believe it’s best for my kids for me to be available to them as much as possible, but the kids have to come first right now and the two little ones are really sick and they don’t need a mummy who is stressed from trying to balance it all. It really is tough to get everything in and make sure there’s time for everyone, including yourself and you can only take one day at a time. Sometimes you’ll be killing it at the balancing act and sometimes everything but your relationships have to stop for a time so you can take care of the most important things and/or people in your life, those people that are the reason for living in the first place 🙂
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Thank you so much for your kind words! Balance is so hard to achieve and keep, but so important. I hope by now everyone is feeling much better. I myself was unwell for several days, so there’s a lot of catching up to do now. I enjoy your blog very much and sincerely hope you’re able to make a go of it. Many of your posts and the stories you’ve shared have really made me stop and think, so thank you.
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Oh thank you so much for the feedback, I really appreciate it. I’m about 2 weeks at least behind on my blog so I know the feeling. Yes, the boys are finally feeling better and off to their Dad’s so I can get a break and get some writing done. Hope your feeling better now also.
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Good for you! I completely understand the self-imposed pressure of feeling like you have to post regularly. Every time I take a break for family, I never regret it.
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It’s always worth it. Family will always be more important than a blog, and a break can really help put things in perspective. I hope yours was incredibly wonderful!
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