• Looking Forward to Having Both Kids Home All Summer

    Many parents, my own included, look forward to sending their kids back to school as soon as summer vacation starts. Actually, I liked sending myself back to school, too. But I know my mom, and many other parents, look forward to having some child-free time again, look forward to some degree of freedom knowing their kids are being taught and watched for a number of hours five days a week. I don’t doubt that that will be me one day, especially when both kids are in school. But, right now, this summer, I look forward to having both of my babies home with me. It’s my son’s last summer before…

  • Two Peas in a Pod

    My siblings and I were three peas in a pod, at least until I got older and wanted my own time away from them. That was closer to my pre-teen years. My kids are two peas in a pod. They’re a couple of months short of being three years apart, but that doesn’t stop them from having a ton of fun together. They like yelling at each other. They like getting frustrated with each other. They like fighting over toys. But, most of all, they like playing with each other. They also really like tattling on each other. These kids feed off of each other. One of them will initiate…

  • The Funny Shorts Story

    My son threw his shorts up onto the hall light. I know he didn’t mean to, but it happened, and I couldn’t help but laugh. My kids enjoy their baths together. For now, at least. After all, I do have one boy and one girl. But, in California, it’s a good way to conserve water, and they get to have fun together. Most of the time, they enjoy it. Lately, my daughter has been a little fish. She’ll easily spend an hour in there turning into a prune. The novelty has worn off of my almost five-year-old. There are other, more fun things to do. He’ll last 15-30 minutes before…

  • What I Could Have Used After My Miscarriage

    For 26 years I lived a very happy, very stable life. I excelled at everything I wanted to, and even did well at the things I didn’t care about. I had, and still have, wonderful friendships. I never had a bad romantic relationship or devastating breakup. Other than the early losses of grandparents and gains of little siblings who stole my mommy’s attention, I was blessed with a very emotionally stable life. Until I was 26. When I lost my first pregnancy. When the women around me had successfully gotten pregnant and given birth or were happily expecting. My husband and I were devastated and crushed by our loss. Emotionally,…

  • Parenting with Psychology: Therapeutic Alliance and Ruptures

    In psychodynamic therapy, the therapeutic alliance is what allows the psychologist and client get the therapeutic work done. What is the therapeutic alliance? Another term for it is working alliance and yet another is rapport. It’s the relationship the therapist and client have formed that enables the client to accept what the therapist has to offer and be able to enact change in their life. When it has been established, the client knows the therapist is there for them and trusts them. An alliance has been established where the goal is to help get the client to wherever they want to be in order to live their best possible life.…

  • It’s Because I Love You That I Clean

    I think it’s common knowledge that moms often feel guilty they’re not spending every waking moment caring for their kids. Many even pass on cleaning because it takes time away from the kids. My own mom has said she wishes she had spent more time playing with us instead of cleaning. Clean or play with the kids? Well, one solution is getting the kids to help or baby wearing. But what if they not amenable to that? Well, I guess cleaning can wait. Except sometimes it can’t. At least, for me. I don’t sacrifice my time with my kids just so I can clean. I don’t spend more than an…

  • Becoming the Put Together Stay-At-Home Mom

    Stay at home moms get a bad rap. The laundry is never done. We live in leggings. Dinner gets slapped together because the kids won’t stop screaming. The house is a war zone. Annoying children’s songs invade our sleep for an hour before the baby starts screaming and that’s why we look like death warmed over. It isn’t pretty. I don’t blame childless women not wanting to have kids. I don’t blame blame the moms who say they would rather work. Then along comes THE mom. The mom we aspire to, the mom we envy. The mom in clean clothes with shiny hair. The mom with fresh baked cookies and…

  • Parenting with Psychology: Erik Erikson’s Stages of Development

    I spent a lot of time in psychology classes. I guess that’s what happens when you decide you want to be a psychology major and then get a higher degree in it. Though my focus was on clinical psychology with the goal of working with people with psychiatric disorders, I was more interested in children than adults. Developmental psychology was everywhere in my education. Erikson, Freud, Piaget, Vygotsky… My favorite is Erik Erikson. He aligned with Freud, but departed from him when it came to human development. According to Erikson, we progress through 8 stages throughout our lives. Each stage spans a certain amount of time and involves a crisis…

  • The Devices Stay Home

    My kids have free access to tablets and sometimes their dad’s smart phone (I still proudly use a flip phone, so it’s not as much fun). When we’re home. With the exception of my husband’s phone (of course), all devices stay home as a rule. I started this as soon as our oldest child had a tablet when he was not quite 2. Since neither of my kids expects to take devices out with us, it’s never been a struggle. Actually, the rare times that we do let them bring whatever they want, they’re more likely to fill my bag with toys than devices. I’m definitely a proud mommy. Before…

  • The 7 Things I Do On Those Sleep Deprived Days That Could Be Hard

    Motherhood is relatively easy for me. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have those sleep deprived days after endless nights of waking with my almost two year old every hour of the night (teething and rainy nights are tough for her). Those days can be challenging. I recognize that my patience isn’t where it should be and all I want is some quiet. I silently beg my kids to be fine playing on their own. I countdown to naptime and bedtime. Everything that normally doesn’t bother me has the potential to be utterly frustrating. But I’m resourceful and know myself well enough to know my shortcomings on those days. It’s…