As a psychology student, I learned about motivation, about external and internal motivation. I also learned about attribution, whether someone attributes success and failure to something outside or within themselves. People will say their destiny is in their hands and hard work will reward them with what they have striven for. People will also say they have no say in their lives and it’s up to fate or God. It seems you’re either on the side of taking the proverbial bull by the horns, or not. I was always the striver in my family, the one who wanted to get somewhere, who wanted to be someone. I was always headed…
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How I’m Coping With the Pandemic
About 4 months ago, our school district shutdown and we started school from home. About a week after that, our mayor, and then our governor, shut down the county and state, respectively. About a month and a half ago, reopening in our county began. It wasn’t looking good, but it wasn’t horrendous, either. I was actually getting quite excited about all the things I might be able to do in July. Like go to the beach or take my kids to the zoo. Basically anything to get them out and about, at least a little. I had been cautiously optimistic that the numbers would stay low, that it would be kind…
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Safer at Home Order Journal #8.5
My sweet little boy, Earlier this week you turned 6. It hurt my heart that it wasn’t much more than letting you have pizza for lunch and cereal for dinner, and not having to do all of your summer educational activities. Usually, we celebrate by going to Disneyland, but, well, that’s closed, and the reopening delayed. There’s been a bad spike in cases. Last Friday, right before the Fourth of July, there were over 3000 cases. Before then, the governor had started rolling back reopenings in several counties, including our own. Even taking you to a park to run around wasn’t in the cards because, frankly, without access to the…
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Safer at Home Order Journal #8
Dear Kids, My heart is breaking for you. My last Safer at Home Order journal was about a month and a half ago. The numbers were stabilizing, the county was reopening. Things were starting to look like they might be getting back to “normal.” Everything was getting kind of boring. Things were reopening, numbers weren’t increasing, daily briefings were coming to an end, people were moving around more normally. Yawn. For over a week now, we’ve had over 2000 new cases almost every day. Before reopening, it was hovering under 1000 a day. After reopening started, it rose to 1200-1500 a day, and holding. It held, kids. It looked stable.…
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Journal For My Kids #3
Dear Son, Today you graduated from Kindergarten. It’s so hard to believe the academic year has finally come to a close. It wasn’t exactly how I had thought, had hoped it would be. The way it should have been. For now, I’m left wondering what graduation was supposed to be like, but at least we got to be right beside you and all of your grandparents were able to be there virtually. Last year, when you graduated from preschool, I cried. I also spent a lot of time silently trying to encourage you to sing the songs with her class. To no avail, of course, because you are you and,…
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Journal For My Kids #2
Dear Kids, The past week has been an exciting one. There have been 2 major events that have grabbed our country’s attention. One was quite exciting and thrilling. The other was and is…scary. I’ll get the scary one out of the way first and then end with a high note. On Memorial Day, a black man was killed in Minneapolis by a cop. He was being arrested and the cop had his knee on his neck for 9 minutes. The man later passed away. Kids, you need to know something. I hope things are different when you’re older, but I fear it won’t be so. This world is filled with…
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Journal For My Kids #1
Dear Kids, We’re in the middle of a pandemic, when things are starting to reopen and Dad and I are keeping an eye on the numbers to see how they’ll change, especially after Memorial Day weekend and far too many gathering like they shouldn’t have. But today is also an historic one. Today, SpaceX and NASA are about to launch two American astronauts from Florida. Maybe by the time you two read this, it’ll be commonplace. Maybe today will start the next part into space travel and exploration. Maybe you’ll read this one day, before you or someone you know is about to travel into space. Maybe this will be…
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To Be Like a Dolphin
Last year, or maybe the year before, my husband took us to see a film at our Natural History Museum. I don’t really remember which one it was or what it was about, but I do remember something about one type of dolphin. They live in not quite friendly waters, where the waves are large and a bit dangerous. But they thrive in it. They can be seen jumping and playing and having fun. As dangerous as their home may be, they still prefer to have fun. For a long time, I would think about them and motherhood. Being a mom isn’t easy, but, if dolphins can live with a…
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Safer at Home Order Journal #7
Dear Kids, There are 5 weeks left of school. Five weeks. When did that happen. Eight weeks ago, I thought it would take forever for the end of the year to come. I was desperately hoping for even a slim chance of schools reopening before the end of the school year. I felt like the school year was never going to end and I was going to be a basket case by June. It took a few weeks, but we finally settled into a routine. Brother has a routine of what order he wants to do all of his schoolwork and we have a schedule for his Zoom classes that doesn’t…
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Safer at Home Order Journal #6
Dear Kids, As we head into our 8th week, we did something different yesterday: we went to Nana and Papa’s house. It’s been hard for the past couple of months to not see them. We’re so used to going over almost every weekend, and you two love playing in their backyard and with your cousins. Last summer we spent a lot of time over there and Papa had a ton of fun getting all of you very wet. This year, it looks like you’ll only be getting wet in the tub at bath time. The last time we saw your grandparents was the end of February. After that, they were…
