Motherhood is Magical: Redefining The Lily Cafe

Lately, I’ve been struggling with my motherhood posts. I’ve gotten caught in wanting to both fit in with other mom bloggers even though motherhood is only one focus of The Lily Cafe and with trying to talk about the kind of mom I am, which sometimes is at odds with what other mom bloggers write about.

I adore reading mom blogs. I’ve found honesty, funny stories, encouragement, and a plethora of ideas. But the more and longer I read them, the more I feel out of place. After trying to fit in last year, I decided to focus on my mom truths and write about how I raise my kids, even if it differs from what many other moms do because maybe there’s another mom or dad out there who does things the same way I do. And I’ve found them, and it’s made me feel less alone.

But I’ve been struggling lately. I somehow went from talking about my particular style of motherhood to getting so caught up in it that I feel like I’m just earnestly writing with no real goal. Am I simply telling my story? Am I trying to tell other moms there are many ways of doing things? Am I, goodness forbid, trying to get moms to do things my way? I’ve lost sight of what I’m doing.

So, I’m changing things. I’ve taken a hard look at who I am as a person because that informs how I parent. My values are the ones I’m handing down to my kids, so they guide me. I trust my instincts and my background in psychology to help steer me. I don’t have all the answers, but I have a lot of handy tools and knowledge.

At my core, I’m a dreamer. I believe in magic. When I was a kid, I had a doll I loved so much that I used to wish on a star that she would come to life. Of course, she never did. But, even today, my heart still hopes. As an adult, I see the magic life has to offer. It’s subtle, but beautiful, and it’s something I want to pass down. I want my kids to enjoy life and see how magical it is. It’s not always easy, but there’s something beautiful about a new sunrise.

Motherhood is magical. I’m not going to lie and say it isn’t hard sometimes. But I can’t help but see how magical it is. Having kids is a great excuse to return to childhood, to recapture the dreams I once had, the joy I once experienced, the imagination that still drives me into the pages of a fantasy book. Being able to remember my childhood and the sheer fun I had makes me yearn to give the same to my kids. I want them to have fun, to explore, to get messy and creative, and develop a larger than life imagination. I want them to believe in magic, too.

That’s the kind of mom I am. I can’t write about the hard days, the tough times, the days when my kids only seem to tantrum and melt down. I can’t because I can hardly remember them. I know I discipline them in the moment, I know I have sturdy boundaries. I know what I’m doing when they misbehave. But, at the end of the day, I only remember the funny things they said and did, the giggles and bright smiles, the excitement of doing something they don’t get to do everyday, the unmatched joy on their faces as they eat a piece of chocolate.

I’m sure I can relate to just about any mom. I’m sure I’m tired and just want a break. I’m sure there are days when I just want to cry because it was that bad. I’m sure there are times when I question myself as a mom. But I just can’t remember. So, if you stumble across this blog looking for this, you’re probably not going to find it.

I’m not seeking to fit in or not fit in with other mom bloggers. I’m going to make my own place and sit happy. I’m not going to give advice, how to guides, and write about all the baby gear you do and don’t need. I’m not going to try to sell you anything but books. This is where I’m going to write about who I am as a person and mother and how that informs how I parent. I’m going to write about how I do it, how I find motherhood to be mostly a breeze, and how glorious I find parenthood to be. I don’t aim to be the mom who talks about how wonderful motherhood is in opposition to all the moms who keep it real, because this is real to me. I can’t do the nitty and gritty because I just don’t choose to see and focus on it. Besides, do you really need another mom to keep it real, to tell it how it is? I also don’t want to be that mom that people point to and say she’s sugar coating motherhood. If I talk about how wonderful motherhood is and nothing else, it’s because that’s really how motherhood is for me. I can’t say it enough: I just don’t focus on the hard parts. My brain doesn’t seem to let me.

To me, motherhood is magical. I hope you embark on this magical journey with me, but I won’t take it personally if you decide to depart the Cafe. Here’s to many wonderful adventures on this journey called parenthood!

43 Comments

  • OneLife

    Your words and expressions are really engaging and the best part is your ability to own and share the truth rather than sugar coating content. Every effort you put in with your family and writing is what you cherish and reflects. I love reading your heart to heart posts 🙂 .

    • kat

      Thank you so much for your kind words! I adore my family and feel so blessed to have them, and I cherish this beautiful online community I’ve found myself in. Having the support of bloggers like you makes it that much easier to just be me. Thank you!

  • Jenni

    I can’t wait for this next chapter of your journey. I’ll always support and follow you, because you are a genuine person and talented writer. Motherhood is magical, and I loved this post. I’m sorry there are aspects you’re struggling with, and I can relate. I’m sending good vibes and love!

    • kat

      Aw, thank you so much! Coming from someone who is so warm and honest, your words mean a lot to me. Life is full of struggles, but there’s magic, too.

      • Jenni

        I’m glad my words mean something. You’ve been one of my favorite bloggers from the start, and wherever your writing journey goes, it’ll be wonderful for readers like me. Just sending good vibes and love too!

  • jennifermzeiger

    I read in a book once that, like practicing an instrument, you will hit the notes you practice most often. So when the difficulties come, if you practice bitterness, you will play the music of bitterness, but if you practice joy, you will play joy even in the hard times. Sound like you’re practicing a beautiful song. =)

    • kat

      Oh, that makes so much sense! Wise words that I’ll now be applying to my life and the lives of all my characters. Whether or not they like it.

      • almeidamomma

        I just found you! I have been rolling the idea of starting a blog over in my head for a while. The problem is that, like you, I’m not trying to be ‘that mom’. The one who might say, “My 4 year-old yelled out a 4 letter swear word in the store, but it didn’t ruffle MY composure in the least”. The perfect mom’s who SAY parenting is the hardest thing we can do but turn right around and try to make everything seem Leave it to Beaver perfect in Instagram or Pinterest.
        I want to be REAL, I’m just not sure where to go with it.

      • kat

        I hear you! It seems there are two different kinds of moms: the perfectly polished ones who dish out advice with every other breath and the train wrecks. But I think most moms fall in the middle but don’t want to admit it. We all have good days and bad days and sometimes our own advice completely backfires. We need more of those blogs, so I encourage you to give it a shot. To paraphrase something that’s been going around: there might already be a million articles on the same topic, but only one of you writing it from your experience and in your voice. Most, if not all, bloggers say it takes time to find your feet, but the blogging world is more often open, warm, and encouraging than mean and critical.

  • jordanquirkcole

    I adore this. I love how you write honestly about motherhood and it makes it seem much less daunting than other mom bloggers I follow who definitely only post the two ends of the spectrum. I can’t wait to read more 🙂

    • kat

      Thank you so much! I love reading mom bloggers, but you’re definitely right; those two ends seem a little scary sometimes. I just like to remember that motherhood and life are full of good and bad moments and it’s up to us to make something out of it.

  • mothertherealist

    That sounds fine to me! I can’t promise not to advise or complain about the nitty-gritty, but I can promise to write what I feel like.

    Honestly, I set out to write about motherhood, and was disappointed at how many out there were just selling 10 different types of strollers. 😉

  • Tiny Woman Tall World

    I couldn’t agree that motherhood is a magical journey. My little is only 4 months but already seeing the world through her eyes has changed how I look at things. I say stay different in your posting style and authentic to yourself!

    • kat

      I’m starting to think of mom blogging as being a lot like motherhood. There are as many ways to do it as there are being a mom, and what makes it so wonderful is that we’re all different. Also, I think fitting in over-rated, but that’s just me. We all find out feet, and I wish you all the best!

  • Elizabeth Randolph

    I relate to defining what your life is all about. I honestly think our attitude shapes our lives. It’s not that we ignore the bad, but that if we focus on the positive, more positive things come about. It’s a decision. I know I’m doing it, but I do it knowing the alternative is being miserable. Who wants that?

    • kat

      That’s very true. It’s sometimes hard to choose to focus on the positive, but it does make for a happier, kinder life.

  • Kristi Nelson

    I love it! And good for you, I totally agree that motherhood is so magical. Nothing is more beautiful than a child’s imagination. I’ve been telling our 4 year old son that God paints the sky all of the beautiful colors and he is fascinated by that idea and tells everyone every-time he sees the sunset and it puts the biggest smile on my face. Keep it up momma, a magical childhood is incredible and one can only hope that at least a little magic will follow your kiddos into adulthood.

    • kat

      That’s beautiful! Exploring the world through a child’s eyes is the best part of parenthood. Everything is magic to them and raising them is like rediscovering that all over again. Enjoy it as long as possible!

    • kat

      It is amazing therapeutic, isn’t it? It helps to relieve some stress, but I also love writing pieces like this to remind me how great motherhood is. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

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