My Little Troopers

My kids amaze me every day, but in times of crisis they are more than amazing. They are my little troopers.

This past Saturday, The Husband wrote a post I could not bring myself to do. With love, empathy, and understanding, he crafted a post that not only spoke of what was happening in our family, but also paid tribute to beloved family members.

Early last week, my grandma had a stroke. My mom described it as “very bad.” I was shaking since I was familiar with neuroscience and married a man who studied it and knew any outcome was bad. She ended up in the ICU for the rest of the week, in a coma and continued bleeding in her brain.

A couple days later, one of my uncles passed away. His health had been rapidly declining, but we still weren’t expecting his sudden passing. More bad news on more bad news while my husband worked and I tried to hold it together for the kids.

They were troopers while I cried randomly. My daughter was a little clingier, but my wonderful 4 year old recognized mommy was upset. He offered tissues and told me, “It’ll be okay, Mama.” See what I mean about being proud of him? He still doesn’t fully understand, but he can be quiet with us, can offer comfort, and can help lift spirits.

But my babies are true troopers because they spent the better part of 2 days at the hospital, being mostly cared for by in-laws while I waited at the bedside of our dying matriarch. There was fussing, crying, and clinging, but, overall, they did remarkably well.

They were present as my grandma passed, my 4 year old only somewhat comprehending as the people he had known all his life wailed, cried, and mourned. He sat quietly, watching, just waiting for me to pick him up when I was ready. My 1 year old fussed, was likely confused, and needed mommy, but was comforted by her dad until I could take her. She offered me hugs and cuddles and wanted to nurse, perhaps because it comforts her and she thought it could comfort me? Regardless, it was a distraction I needed.

My kids are troopers, and will continue to be as we plan our final good byes. Their schedules and routines were jumbled, but they managed with grace and relative ease.

I am blessed to have these little troopers, these terribly young toddlers who can read the atmosphere and offer everything they can.

So, to my children, I wish you could have had more time with your great-uncle and great-grandma, but I can’t thank you enough for doing so well, for being my little troopers, my little pillars of strength and love.

23 Comments

  • Alex

    Children are far stronger than people often give them credit for. So often people shield them from death, but I think that says more about their own fear than their children’s. Thanks for sharing this deeply personal post. My thoughts are with you

    • kat

      Thank you so much.

      You’re right; children are far stronger, and smarter, than adults think. We assume they need to be protected and sheltered, but that only does them a disservice as they get older. Exposing them to the dark side of life teaches them important lessons about life and themselves.

      Again, thank you so much.

  • Confession of a Parentless Mother

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I know times are hard right now, but time about all the time you had with her. She wouldn’t want you to be sad.

    You’re right. Children are the best thing to have when life is falling apart because of moments like the one with your son. That’s so heart full, which sounds you’re doing an incredible job teaching him about his emotions and others around me. We need more men like that. :).

  • brookejcutler

    Darling Kat. You write so beautifully, and with such heart. I am so sorry to hear of your losses- I must have missed your hubbys post some how (I’ve just read it now, beautiful.) It’s so nice that your little muffins have been a source of joy for you in this tough time. They really are just utterly remarkable aren’t they, what they just KNOW? How DO they know? It’s always amazed me. So many big hugs from me to you. xx Brooke

    • kat

      Dearest Brooke, thank you so much! Children really are amazing, far more than they are not often given credit for being. It’s during these tough times that they not only let us know how brightly they shine, but also become that ray of hope so desperately needed.

  • OneLife

    Accept my condolences for the departed souls Kat. May they rest in peace and watch over your family.
    Your children are reflection of you and your husband, what you raised them to be …. compassionate, caring, sensitive and adaptable. God bless the family and stay strong.

    • kat

      Thank you so much for your beautiful words. Parents always wonder if they are raising their kids right. It’s during these tough times that they shine and the beauty of their souls can be seen in all their glory. They really are amazing human beings.

  • New England Mama

    I’m so sorry for your loss! I hope your awesome little guys continue to bring you lots of love and cuddles to make it through the tough times!

    Keeping your family in my prayers and hoping there’s a rainbow at the end of the storm. ♥️

    • kat

      Thank you so much for your kind words! They have indeed been making the days more bearable. Thank you so much for your prayers!

  • coffeepjsmom

    Thank you for sharing what was probably very difficult to write. I am so sorry for you loss and will keep you and your family in my prayers. What wonderful and loving children you have and what a comfort for you.

    • kat

      Thank you so much for your prayers and kind words. My children are indeed absolutely wonderful and I’m thankful every day for them.

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