• Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 12: The relief that came from telling my secret

    Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 12: The Relief That Came From Telling My Secret

    I was always afraid that, because I’m skinny and petite, I would start showing early on. I was lucky winter went on and on into March that year since my warmer, winter specific dresses tended to be looser than my summer dresses. My closet was also full of colorful scarves my mom had made me over the years, which made it easier to shift attention to my neck. Between them and my coat, no one who didn’t already know knew. Originally, I had intended on telling my classmates once I passed the 12 week mark, but, having miscarried, I was afraid I would lose this, too, if I shared my…

  • Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 9: The Moment of Truth

    Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 9: The Moment of Truth

    The day of our 8 week ultrasound was cold and sunny with a thick layer of snow on the ground. Even though it had stopped snowing, my husband’s place of work was closed for the day. I can’t tell you how grateful I was because, two weeks before, we thought he would be going back to work the day after we got back from California. If he had gone back to work, we would have had to wait a little longer for the 8 week ultrasound. I would have had to wait longer for my worry to ease a little. I was terrified there wouldn’t actually be a baby in…

  • Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 5: The Miscarriage

    Finding Magic in Motherhood Part 5: The Miscarriage

    In all the plans my husband and I formulated, we never even considered miscarriage. We knew it existed, but didn’t know much beyond that. There wasn’t a history of miscarriage in my family that we knew of. My mom had never miscarried. There was no reason for me to think it would happen to me. I didn’t know it just happens, and there’s no telling who will miscarry and when. The Early Excitement Our plan worked flawlessly. We used ovulation tests, waited the two weeks, and then tested on a chosen day. We got a faint pink line, but a line was a line. No matter how faint, it meant…

  • The One Thing Having Kids Taught Me About the Human Body (That I Probably Should Have Known)

    I love that my kids are always learning and exploring and teaching me new things all the time. Their endless questions keep my brain working and Google functioning. Now, I know the human body must grow as the child ages. I know they can’t stay little forever no matter how much I want them to. We track how tall they’re getting. We marvel at how big their heads grow. We watch as their limbs stretch longer. Their little baby angel faces morph and their personalities shine through, evident in the naughty smile and glint in the eye. But it wasn’t until my little girl opened her mouth one day and…

  • Smile: My Miscarriage Story (Repost)

    As October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, I am reposting my miscarriage story, which was originally posted on March 26, 2018. My son was born 4 years ago, before “rainbow baby” was a commonly used term. I certainly hadn’t heard of it until he was 1. Even though he is a rainbow baby, I have a hard time thinking of him in that way. He isn’t my rainbow. He is something else altogether. I remember our excitement when we finally determined it was time to start trying for our first baby.  I was lucky; it happened on the first try. But the test line was so faint…but…

  • Breastfeeding My 16 Month Old is Like Nursing a Baby Cow

    Well, not exactly, but close enough! Recently, my daughter and I went to the county fair with my son and his class. She had a blast looking at all the animals and calling them all kitty. He…not so much. My son may be interested in science, but animals and insects and plants have no appeal to him. He’s more of a space and gravity and robotics guy. But he did manage to be more interested in the milking demonstration. Probably because he didn’t have to get anywhere close to the cow. Guess I’m not looking at a future vet. For now, at least. I have to admit, as a nursing…

  • Breastfeeding, Perfected (a repost)

    If you’ve been following along for the past week, you know my family has been hit hard by death. Because of this, I’ve been absent from blogging and the Internet, so have just recently realized it World Breastfeeding Week. As a breastfeeding mom, I decided to repost my breastfeeding journey, with an updated version. The original can be found here. Long before I had children I promised my mom one thing. I promised her I would breastfeed. So, when my son came, formula wasn’t even something my husband and I discussed. I was actually devastated when he did have to be given formula for the first six days. He was…

  • Not Having a Birth Plan Made Me Less Anxious

    When I was pregnant with my first baby, I knew what a birth plan was. I knew what went into one and that many women have them. In theory. When I was pregnant with my first, I was a busy graduate student attending classes, trying to get through my practicum placement that required me to do psychological testing with college students and write up reports, study for my comprehensive exams, and get through a daily pile of class readings. To say I didn’t have much time to enjoy pregnancy is an understatement. There were times when I almost forgot! Until, you know, ligament pains, nausea, headaches, and the Braxton Hicks…

  • Dad Discrimination Part 1 – Changing Tables — parentalGRIT

    This is why men’s rooms should have changing tables. With more dads taking a more active role in raising children and even becoming stay at home dads, public restrooms need to evolve, too. Or, you know, we women can just get used to seeing grown men changing a child’s diaper in the women’s room. Please leave comments on the original post (and give parentalGRIT a follow while you’re at it). There’s no hiding the dirty diaper of a toddler. via Dad Discrimination Part 1 – Changing Tables — parentalGRIT

  • A Moment of Honesty

      Over the past two weeks, while we were taking a much needed break, I thought countless times of stopping. Of not blogging anymore. Of just up and leaving and taking another unintentional break for maybe forever. Even though I promised we would be back. Don’t get me wrong. I love blogging. I love writing. I love that The Husband and I do this together. I love the community here and all of the lovely bloggers I’ve been fortunate to “meet.” But being a blogging mom is hard. Time trickles away faster than they fall in an hourglass. In the first week alone, my kids refused to nap, refused to…