The conclusion of this absurd play. There was supposed to be Act 3, but I couldn’t bring myself to do worse to these characters. Scene Four: In a forest, by a creek. Several large boulders lie nearby and Beatrice is perched on top of one. Calvin stands in the middle of the creek and Rupert is doing gymnastics on a horizontal tree branch. Amelia is seated on a boulder across the creek from Beatrice. Patience is standing on the ground beside Beatrice. Calvin wades to shore and stands by Amelia as Rupert continues to swing overhead. Patience: Now what happened? Amelia: Are you quite finished swinging, Rupert? Rupert: No, not…
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Tea Party, Act 2, Scenes 1 and 2
Now that I can finally get back online, here are Scenes 1 and 2 of Act 2, in which we meet new friends and encounter Jell-o: Scene One: In a walled in garden. A well is at one end and an open gate at the other. There are many shade trees and creeping vines everywhere. Amelia and Calvin are helping Beatrice up from a ditch. Patience is sitting on a moss bed, looking almost hysterical. Rupert has his head down the well. Amelia and Calvin give a final tug and Beatrice stands with them with a green lump in her hand. Beatrice: Where are we? Calvin: (shrugs) Never seen this…
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Tea Party, Act 1, Scene 2
Scene Two: Calvin’s backyard. A square table is set up surrounded by hedges. Amelia: (sighs dramatically) Another tea party, another death. Who will die today? Patience: No one’s going to die, Amelia. Beatrice’s death was a once in a lifetime sort of thing. No one will die today. Rupert: Did Amelia bake cookies again? Amelia: Of course not! Actually, Calvin did. Rupert: (looking around) Where is he? Calvin: Behind you. Enter Calvin. He is holding a plate with a dark brown cake covered in slightly dark, white frosting and a pile of sprinkles in the middle. He sets the cake down in the middle of the table. Patience: (staring at…
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Black as Light, part 13
The basilisk turned his head in Tanith’s general direction. “Begin? Oh, yes, of course.” “And you can put your papers on the table,” Tanith said. “Table?” Virgil said, peering through his glasses. He leaned forward until his nose was practically touching the varnished surface. “Dear me, it is a table. I hadn’t noticed. And here are my papers. Yes, here they all are.” The councilors glanced uncomfortably at each other, unsure of what to think. I just sat there, impatiently tapping my foot, waiting for this to be over and done with. Tanith gave me a sharp look and I instantly stopped tapping my foot. “We don’t want them to…
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Black as Light, part 12
We all stood on the bridge the following morning, just staring at each other. Euclid, trembling uncontrollably, was held tightly between Tanith and I. The misunderstood creatures stood in fright of the knights and the knights stood in fright of the misunderstood creatures. “Release my daughter!” King Adam said authoritatively from astride his clearly trembling stallion. “We have a proposition for you,” I called back when Eva kicked my heel. It was a hard kick, too, and it left me wishing I had worn my armor so her foot would hurt instead of mine. “We would like to negotiate a treaty with you.” I glanced over at Tanith to make…
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Black as Light, part 11
“Tanith!” Eva yelled. “In here!” Tanith called back from the library, where we sat with Virgil, Drago, Manny, Bede, and Euclid. Books on diplomacy and books containing copies of hundreds of treaties lay open around us. We seven would be taking care of the treaty business, but only Tanith had any idea of what to do, which really wasn’t much. It was the day before King Adam would arrive with his army and we still had a lot to do. Eva appeared at the doorway and we all looked at her in varying states of exasperation and frustration. The preparations were not going well. “Look!” Eva cried out, holding out…
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Black as Light, part 10
“Tanith, we’ve got four days to figure this out.” “Four days?” she said in surprise. “What do you mean?” “I mean, your father is amassing an army of knights from all over and they’re going to storm this castle in four days.” “They can’t!” Eva gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. “You can’t let that happen, Shane,” Tanith said. “You have to put the swords together now!” “Again, how?” “I don’t know! Just stick them together.” Frustrated, I pushed the two swords together. We all saw a spark, but that was it. I twisted the swords around each other, pressing them together any way I could, but there was…
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Black as Light, part 9
Walking back through Bottlecreek, I could believe that. Walking back to the Black Castle, I couldn’t. I should have gone hiding behind my couch with all the other knights and let the king’s army storm the castle. But then Tanith would never forgive me. I would never hear the end of it. I sighed and just kept clunking back up the hill to the Black Castle, the White Sword hanging at my side. When I reached the doors, I paused to pull off my boots. I didn’t want Manny screaming at me about dirt on the floors, much less Eva’s scolding. Once was bad enough. I pushed open the doors…
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Black as Light, part 8
I couldn’t believe it. I was really walking back across the moat, headed back for Bottlecreek. Well, actually, I guess I could believe it. I had spent months imagining myself heading back to town triumphant. But I had always imagined Tanith would be with me and the monsters, er, misunderstood creatures, would be vanquished. Instead, I’m stuck walking back, alone with all those creatures waiting for me to return with the White Sword. “What did I ever do to deserve this?” I muttered to myself, my armor clanking with every step I took. I marched down the hill, trying desperately to not think of what I would say to King…
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Black as Light, part 7
“When are you going back to the castle for the sword?” Tanith asked, sitting beside me in the library. For once, the castle was quiet since Gina had gone to spend the evening with the harpies and had dragged Euclid along with her. I assumed Flavian was raiding the kitchen again for more cinnamon and Ferguson was with him, munching on some turnips Eva had allowed him to have. Eva herself was doing the dishes and doing her best to keep Flavian from finding the cinnamon. Drago was presumable out in the forest taking a walk with Bede as he usually did every night. Manny was quietly rearranging the books…
