Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 14: I’m Going to What Now?

Last time I wrote about the final weeks of my pregnancy. Those final weeks came a lot sooner than I had expected. As a matter of fact, I had no idea they were going to be my final weeks. I had been eagerly awaiting that last month, the month when every mom I'd known had … Continue reading Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 14: I’m Going to What Now?

Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 13: The Final Weeks

Once my secret was out, I was able to, er, enjoy pregnancy in all its glory. Which is just the nice way of saying the constant hunger, hot flashes, back pain, and Braxton-Hicks were fun. Of course, I didn't complain much. For one, this little boy was a gift following my miscarriage and was sorely wanted. For … Continue reading Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 13: The Final Weeks

Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 12: The Relief That Came From Telling My Secret

I was always afraid that, because I'm skinny and petite, I would start showing early on. I was lucky winter went on and on into March that year since my warmer, winter specific dresses tended to be looser than my summer dresses. My closet was also full of colorful scarves my mom had made me … Continue reading Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 12: The Relief That Came From Telling My Secret

Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 11: I Don’t Believe in Stress

When I learned I was pregnant with my son, I was also somewhere in the middle of my seventh year of formal study in psychology (third year of graduate school). I knew the effects of a mother's stress on a developing child. Knowing I'm generally an anxious Type A person, it was important to me … Continue reading Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 11: I Don’t Believe in Stress

Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 10: School and Pregnancy

I had about a week between the ultrasound and the start of my Spring semester, a week to finally let the thought I was pregnant settle in. Of course, that came with a whole host of other fears. I still wasn't past the first trimester, so there was still a good chance I would lose … Continue reading Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 10: School and Pregnancy

Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 9: The Moment of Truth

The day of our 8 week ultrasound was cold and sunny with a thick layer of snow on the ground. Even though it had stopped snowing, my husband's place of work was closed for the day. I can't tell you how grateful I was because, two weeks before, we thought he would be going back … Continue reading Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 9: The Moment of Truth

Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 8: The Fears, the Symptoms, the Uncertainties

As overjoyed as I was to learn I had conceived so soon after miscarrying and to see such an amazingly dark line, it was quickly tempered by fear, worry, and doubt. This time around was vastly different from the first. Instead of dizziness, I had annoying headaches. Instead of being quite sleepy, I felt wide … Continue reading Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 8: The Fears, the Symptoms, the Uncertainties

Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 7: I Should Have Known Something Was Going On

Despite my husband's reassurances, I was prepared for the long wait for another positive pregnancy test. The doctor had said to wait 3 months, but we had decided to not follow his advice. Still, there was no guarantee I would ovulate any time soon, no guarantee I would get pregnant again right away, no guarantee … Continue reading Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 7: I Should Have Known Something Was Going On

Finding Magic in Motherhood Part 5: The Miscarriage

In all the plans my husband and I formulated, we never even considered miscarriage. We knew it existed, but didn't know much beyond that. There wasn't a history of miscarriage in my family that we knew of. My mom had never miscarried. There was no reason for me to think it would happen to me. … Continue reading Finding Magic in Motherhood Part 5: The Miscarriage

Not Having a Birth Plan Made Me Less Anxious

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I knew what a birth plan was. I knew what went into one and that many women have them. In theory. When I was pregnant with my first, I was a busy graduate student attending classes, trying to get through my practicum placement that required me to … Continue reading Not Having a Birth Plan Made Me Less Anxious