• Finding contentment by redefining motherhood

    Finding Contentment by Redefining Motherhood

    About two years ago, I brought this blog back to life after a, well, too long unscheduled hiatus. My first post back in 2018 was about how I came to be a stay-at-home mom. Back then, I was certain I wouldn’t stay a stay-at-home mom forever, that I wouldn’t be doing anything other than documenting my journey into becoming a working mom. I was quite insistent that being at home was not going to last. But life happened and life made changes without consulting me and now I find I’m exactly where I had never wanted to be. But, perhaps, I’m actually exactly where I’m supposed to be. Didn’t Want…

  • Some of my favorite moments as a mom

    Some of My Favorite Moments as a Mom

    I’ve now been blogging consistently for 2 years. Two years ago I decided one of the things I would be writing about was motherhood. I never intended on actually sharing too much about my kids as I’m really serious about protecting their privacy, but, once in a while, I can’t help but document a small slice of their childhoods. Two years ago, my son was 3 and my daughter was about 8 months old. That means there’s actually quite a bit of their young childhoods that have been documented in some way. here While I don’t really talk about them much, I do talk a lot about how I’m raising…

  • Sending My Child Back to School Makes Me Sad - why I'll miss my son when he returns to his Kindergarten classroom

    Sending My Child Back to School Makes Me Sad

    This post is publishing today, which must mean my sweet little boy has gone back to Kindergarten after 3 weeks off for the winter holidays. I know many parents count down to this day, and there’s even a Christmas song that mentions parents looking forward to their kids going back to school. But I’m not one of them. Before my son started Kindergarten, I was looking at my calendar, thinking he would be off for the winter holidays for 2 weeks, which is what I had grown up with. I remember thinking 2 weeks wasn’t a long time. They would go by in the blink of an eye. I was…

  • The Damaging Effect a "Perfect Mother" Can Have on a Daughter

    The Damaging Effect a “Perfect Mother” Can Have on a Daughter

    A perfect mother is a woman who can cook, clean, care for her kids, love her husband, and get involved with the community with a seemingly unlimited amount of energy, good will, and a boundless grace. Not only does she dress well, but her kids are dressed well and are always on their best behavior in public. Her marriage is the stuff of dreams. She bakes and volunteers at her children’s school(s). Maybe she works, and maybe she doesn’t, but, whatever she does, she does it all with a smile and timeless grace. I mean, in some ways, maybe it’s appealing. I don’t know about you, but it just sounds…

  • Not Snow Days, but Fire Days

    Not Snow Days, But Fire Days

    My son was born in Pennsylvania. We moved to California when he was six weeks old, so he has no memories of his first home, and only a dim understanding of what snow is as we have yet to take our kids to the mountains during the winter. He’s five and has just started school. He’s loving it so far, but, as he gets older and understands more, I wonder how he’ll react when he learns he could have had snow days. I’m a California girl, born and raised. I never knew snow days existed. I grew up watching TV shows that took place back East and always saw high…

  • Two Quarters from a Stranger

    Two Quarters From a Stranger

    I took my children to the mall for ice cream to celebrate my son’s first week of Kindergarten. He asked for chocolate and mint chocolate chip for him, his younger sister, and me to share. As we went to sit, I barely registered that we had passed by an older Asian couple. I didn’t pay them any mind; I’m used to passing by Asians, but they usually pass by on their on business as I do on mine. I am never asked if I can speak Chinese (which I can’t) unless the cashier at an Asian market asks. My son didn’t want to eat the mint chocolate chip because it…

  • Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 3: The “Do You Want Kids” Question Froze My Brain

    Women typically fall in one of three camps when it comes to having kids: yes, absolutely not, and on the fence. And some can’t decide, so they make their way from camp to camp. Then, I’m hoping, there are those like me: no on the outside, yes in the heart, and on the fence in the brain because that yes-no battle can get intense. Hence why the question of whether I want to have kids froze my brain. “No” Was a Front I Internalized I grew up with a traditional Chinese grandmother whose Americanized Chinese husband passed away when I was 12. She always tried to teach her grandchildren the…

  • What Kindergarten Means to Me

    What Kindergarten Means to Me

    All across the country, parents are preparing to send their kids back to school. And some, like me, are sending a child off to Kindergarten. For some, it’s a time to celebrate freedom. For others, it’s time to turn on the waterworks as they watch their babies grow up right in front of them. This year, I’m sending my first off to Kindergarten. He did a year of preschool, so this isn’t new territory to us. But sending him off to public school has me in knots. I’m worried and relieved all at the same time. Kindergarten means longer days away from me. I’m a control freak. I’ve loved having…

  • The Mom I Admire

    The mom I admire is a bit harried, a little scattered, and definitely missing a marble or three. She constantly wonders how she’s stacking up against every other mom, especially the one without a hair out of place. She spends all day begging her kids to eat, clean up after themselves, and stop screaming. And half the night tearfully pleading her baby to go to sleep. She has permanent stains on her clothes from the time her oldest refused peas as a baby and the time she skidded on the dirt and grass to save her child from getting hurt and the time her sick kid puked all over her…

  • My Parenting Philosophy

    I always thought my parenting was simply informed by my background in psychology. To a large degree, that’s true. But, one afternoon, I was out to lunch with my family, watching my husband and I interact with our kids while the book I was currently reading flowed through my head. It hit me then: I have a parenting philosophy. One afternoon, we were having lunch in a restaurant. It was lunch on a weekday, so it was far from crowded. Perfect when there are two kids under 5. We were having a good time with my husband keeping our son occupied with some games on one of those devices that…