I was always afraid that, because I’m skinny and petite, I would start showing early on. I was lucky winter went on and on into March that year since my warmer, winter specific dresses tended to be looser than my summer dresses. My closet was also full of colorful scarves my mom had made me over the years, which made it easier to shift attention to my neck. Between them and my coat, no one who didn’t already know knew. Originally, I had intended on telling my classmates once I passed the 12 week mark, but, having miscarried, I was afraid I would lose this, too, if I shared my…
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Sending My Child Back to School Makes Me Sad
This post is publishing today, which must mean my sweet little boy has gone back to Kindergarten after 3 weeks off for the winter holidays. I know many parents count down to this day, and there’s even a Christmas song that mentions parents looking forward to their kids going back to school. But I’m not one of them. Before my son started Kindergarten, I was looking at my calendar, thinking he would be off for the winter holidays for 2 weeks, which is what I had grown up with. I remember thinking 2 weeks wasn’t a long time. They would go by in the blink of an eye. I was…
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Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 11: I Don’t Believe in Stress
When I learned I was pregnant with my son, I was also somewhere in the middle of my seventh year of formal study in psychology (third year of graduate school). I knew the effects of a mother’s stress on a developing child. Knowing I’m generally an anxious Type A person, it was important to me that I minimize the risk of anxiety in my child. Neither my husband nor I have any known relatives who have ever been diagnosed with anxiety, so I was just keen on minimizing the risk of him developing even a normal level of anxiety. In order to keep my cortisol levels as low as possible…
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Finding Magic in Motherhood, Part 10: School and Pregnancy
I had about a week between the ultrasound and the start of my Spring semester, a week to finally let the thought I was pregnant settle in. Of course, that came with a whole host of other fears. I still wasn’t past the first trimester, so there was still a good chance I would lose this baby, too. But my more pressing issue was having to sit in classrooms for most of the day twice a week while battling nausea and keeping my symptoms under wraps. I was lucky. The first trimester was kind to me. It was almost as though the universe decided I’d gone through enough with my…
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And a New Phase of Worry as a Parent Has Begun
Parents understand worry very well. Not only is the world a scary place, but babies and young children are just so fragile. I remember worrying about my kids when they were both newborns. SIDS terrified me and, since both were born early, both were slightly more likely to succumb to it. When my oldest learned to roll over just before he turned 6 months, he loved sleeping on his face. I spent a very sleepless week worrying about him. I slept with the monitor glued to my ear. I got up every 10 minutes to check on him. All night. Every night. Then the kids started to crawl and walk…
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Not Snow Days, But Fire Days
My son was born in Pennsylvania. We moved to California when he was six weeks old, so he has no memories of his first home, and only a dim understanding of what snow is as we have yet to take our kids to the mountains during the winter. He’s five and has just started school. He’s loving it so far, but, as he gets older and understands more, I wonder how he’ll react when he learns he could have had snow days. I’m a California girl, born and raised. I never knew snow days existed. I grew up watching TV shows that took place back East and always saw high…
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Mom Message: To the Schools
I never intended to write anything like this here now that I’ve changed my blog up to supporting stories, but sometimes I need this to be my platform. My oldest child started Kindergarten at the end of last month. It’s been a big month of changes, from having to get up earlier to having to go to school earlier to having to eat lunch with peers instead of mom and sister to missing out on his much loved quiet time. It’s been a big adjustment for me, too. I’m used to having my babies with me almost all the time. I’m used to being the one to be there for…
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What Kindergarten Means to Me
All across the country, parents are preparing to send their kids back to school. And some, like me, are sending a child off to Kindergarten. For some, it’s a time to celebrate freedom. For others, it’s time to turn on the waterworks as they watch their babies grow up right in front of them. This year, I’m sending my first off to Kindergarten. He did a year of preschool, so this isn’t new territory to us. But sending him off to public school has me in knots. I’m worried and relieved all at the same time. Kindergarten means longer days away from me. I’m a control freak. I’ve loved having…
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The Weekly Question #12
What is your favorite first day of school tradition? I know. I just asked about reading on the beach last week and now I’m jumping to school. In my defense, my son starts Kindergarten in a few weeks, and I am freaking out. My mom never had first day of school traditions for us, except to put my and my sister’s uniform jumpers on backwards on our very first days of wearing them. But now with social media I get to see what other parents do, and I’d really love to do something cute for my kids. I have vague ideas of what I want to do, and I definitely…
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Looking Forward to Having Both Kids Home All Summer
Many parents, my own included, look forward to sending their kids back to school as soon as summer vacation starts. Actually, I liked sending myself back to school, too. But I know my mom, and many other parents, look forward to having some child-free time again, look forward to some degree of freedom knowing their kids are being taught and watched for a number of hours five days a week. I don’t doubt that that will be me one day, especially when both kids are in school. But, right now, this summer, I look forward to having both of my babies home with me. It’s my son’s last summer before…
