• Tea Party, Act 2, Scenes 4 and 5

    The conclusion of this absurd play. There was supposed to be Act 3, but I couldn’t bring myself to do worse to these characters. Scene Four: In a forest, by a creek. Several large boulders lie nearby and Beatrice is perched on top of one. Calvin stands in the middle of the creek and Rupert is doing gymnastics on a horizontal tree branch. Amelia is seated on a boulder across the creek from Beatrice. Patience is standing on the ground beside Beatrice. Calvin wades to shore and stands by Amelia as Rupert continues to swing overhead. Patience: Now what happened? Amelia: Are you quite finished swinging, Rupert? Rupert: No, not…

  • Tea Party, Act 1, Scene 2

    Scene Two: Calvin’s backyard. A square table is set up surrounded by hedges. Amelia: (sighs dramatically) Another tea party, another death. Who will die today? Patience: No one’s going to die, Amelia. Beatrice’s death was a once in a lifetime sort of thing. No one will die today. Rupert: Did Amelia bake cookies again? Amelia: Of course not! Actually, Calvin did. Rupert: (looking around) Where is he? Calvin: Behind you. Enter Calvin. He is holding a plate with a dark brown cake covered in slightly dark, white frosting and a pile of sprinkles in the middle. He sets the cake down in the middle of the table. Patience: (staring at…

  • Tea Party

    Scene One from an absurd two act play I wrote years ago in sleep deprived states, with a bit of fantasy in Act 2. Enjoy! Act One Scene One: In Patricia’s backyard. A table is set up with five chairs around it. A garden hidden by bushes is nearby. Beatrice: Could someone get the kettle? Calvin: Where would we find it? Amelia: The kitchen, of course. Where else would it be? Rupert: The closet. Patience: Don’t be stupid, Rupert. Why don’t you get the kettle? Otherwise we’ll have no tea for our tea party. Amelia: Oh, no! Turn off the oven when you get the kettle. I think I just…