Scene Six: Amelia’s backyard. A large, round table is set up between to flower beds.
Beatrice: Tea! Someone get the tea!
Amelia: (staring at Beatrice as though she has lost her mind) The teapot is on the table.
Beatrice: Oh, okay. What about the pie?
Patience: It’s inside with Amelia’s cookies, Calvin’s cake, Rupert’s brownies, and my fudge.
Calvin: Okay. Rupert, come help me.
Amelia: I’ll go, too.
Amelia, Calvin, and Rupert exit. They return a minute later with a plate of cookies, the pie, the cake, a platter of brownies, and a pile of fudge.
Patience: I hope they taste as good as they look.
Amelia: I’m sure it will. Beatrice’s pie ought to be good. She always makes the best pies!
Beatrice: (shrugs) I’d rather eat it.
Patience pours the tea while they pass along the food.
Rupert: So, what will we walk about today?
Calvin: Let’s talk about weapons of mass destruction.
Patience: (horrified) No! This is a tea party. We will be civilized and not talk of such things. Instead, let’s talk about what we’ve been doing.
Rupert: I would rather talk about nuclear war, but I suppose Amelia won’t like that since this is her tea party.
Amelia: Yes, this is my party. And weapons will not be discussed!
Calvin: Even if it’s interesting?
Beatrice: Yes! Tea parties require good manners, which neither of you have!
Rupert: Stop yelling at us, Beatrice!
Beatrice: Okay, but it’s true.
Calvin: Then why did you invite us?
Amelia: Because you two are our friends, of course.
Rupert: Sure. We really want to be at a tea party. Cal, we just had to become friends with three of the strangest girls.
Calvin: (nodding) Something must be wrong with us. But you have to admit the food is good.
Patience: The food is all sugar! Of course it’s good.
Amelia: So, what will we talk about? And no, we’re not going to talk about war, weapons, or nuclear power. How about…birds?
Patience: (remembering her dream) I hate birds. They’re so…so dirty.
Beatrice: Oh, Pat, stop being so prim and proper.
Patience: (sniffs indignantly) That’s just the way I was brought up.
Beatrice: Well, okay. Just don’t always act like that.
Patience: (shrugs) Sure. Let’s talk about what we’ve been doing.
Calvin: Okay. I’ve been studying the use of nuclear—
Amelia: Stop it, Calvin! I said—
Calvin: (laughing) I know what you said! Okay, okay, I’ll stop.
Amelia: Good. Now. I’ve been helping my cousin get ready for her wedding.
Beatrice: Really? Your cousin’s getting married? When?
Amelia: Two weeks. She’s really excited—
Amelia is cut off by a loud boom as a bomb drops over them and they all die.