Tea Party, Act 2, Scenes 4 and 5

The conclusion of this absurd play. There was supposed to be Act 3, but I couldn’t bring myself to do worse to these characters.

Scene Four: In a forest, by a creek. Several large boulders lie nearby and Beatrice is perched on top of one. Calvin stands in the middle of the creek and Rupert is doing gymnastics on a horizontal tree branch. Amelia is seated on a boulder across the creek from Beatrice. Patience is standing on the ground beside Beatrice. Calvin wades to shore and stands by Amelia as Rupert continues to swing overhead.

Patience: Now what happened?

Amelia: Are you quite finished swinging, Rupert?

Rupert: No, not yet.

Amelia sighs and shakes her head. Patience sits down on the ground and Calvin leans against Amelia’s boulder.

Patience: What happened? It was so perfect, a wonderful tea party, delicious tea and sweets, charming company, my wish finally coming true.

Beatrice: I’m more interested in learning why Dragonfly looked at Amelia when she said her real name and why Amelia said “oh!”

Calvin: (turning to look at Amelia) I’m interested in knowing myself. We were taken away from some really good food.

Amelia: (swatting at Calvin’s hair) All you think about is food.

Calvin: I’m a guy. What do you expect?

Amelia: (shaking her head and sighing) Oh, Calvin.

Beatrice: Well, Amelia? Do you know something about Dragonfly that we don’t?

Amelia: Dragonfly is my mother.

Patience: (looking up at Amelia) What?

Amelia: (shrugging) It’s true. She once lived in our world and had a daughter, me, whom she named after herself because she had to go away, to this place, I presume, and wanted me to remember my mother’s name.

Rupert: (between pants) Wouldn’t that make you Dragonfly’s heiress then?

Patience: Rupert, please stop and land on the ground.

Rupert: Okay.

Rupert swings to the ground and collapses on the soft grass, breathing heavily. He rolls over onto his stomach and stares up at Patience. Patience sighs heavily and shakes her head. Beatrice hides a giggle behind her hand while Calvin and Amelia openly grin.

Patience: I’m not even going to say anything.

Calvin: Aww. You’re ruining the fun, Pat.

Patience: (glaring up at him) Don’t bait me, Cal.

Amelia: (laughing) Oh, you guys.

Rupert: Hey, Amelia, you never answered my question. Why is Lyndee the next Dragonfly and not you?

Amelia: (shrugging) I guess I wasn’t born with the right…whatever. Maybe it’s because I’m half sprite and half human. Only sprites can live and rule here, I guess. I mean, Dragonfly looks so elfin, like Lyndee, so she must be a sprite, too. And I know my dad is definitely human, so that would, in essence, only make me half sprite.

Rupert: And I thought my family is confusing.

Beatrice: So, what do we do now?

Patience: How about we try to get back home? Where are we, anyways?

Amelia: Who knows? It’s some forest, probably still in Dragonfly’s garden.

Beatrice: So, what do we do?

Calvin: I don’t know about you, but Rupert and I can talk about weapons of mass destruction.

Amelia: (as Rupert is opening his mouth for hearty agreement) No! Absolutely not!

Patience: So, what are we going to do, sit here until we rot?

Beatrice: Not exactly the prettiest picture, Pat.

Patience: (snapping) Oh, I don’t care. We’ve got to do something, like get back home. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am not going to spend eternity wandering around some God-forsaken forest that’s probably a million light-years away from Earth!

Patience stands and rushes off into the forest. Calvin and Rupert exchange slightly worried looks. Beatrice and Amelia look at each other in panic and hurry off after Patience. Calvin and Rupert shrug, rise slowly, and stretch. Amelia runs back and grabs both of them by the sleeves. The three of them run off into the forest after Patience.

Scene Five: A perfectly round clearing in the forest. A table with a white table cloth and five white chairs around it is sitting in the middle. The table is set for a tea party. Patience is sitting at the table, quietly sitting her tea, not even bothered by her surroundings. A note is sitting on her otherwise empty plate, face down. Beatrice runs into the clearing and comes to a full stop, staring at her friend. Amelia, Calvin, and Rupert arrive right behind her and the four of them cautiously approach Patience.

Patience: (turning to them) Good afternoon.

Amelia: Pat, what’s going on?

Patience: (smiling slightly) It’s tea time. You see, I came storming through here and suddenly found myself staring at a lovely tea party set for five. Dragonfly must have meant this to be for us.

Beatrice: (shrilly) Patience, what’s going on? First you run off and now we find you sitting here as though nothing is wrong.

Patience: That is because this is the end. My friends, we are going to die.

Amelia: (horrified) Die!

Calvin: (eagerly) Really? By a weapon of mass destruction.

Patience: I believe so.

Amelia: I don’t believe this.

Patience: It will occur in…five. Four. Three. Two. One. Good bye.

There is a loud explosion and a brilliant bright white light encompasses the entire clearing and they all die…again.

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