Wishes Granted are Bittersweet

In a few short days, we’re moving. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a long move. Throughout our relationship, my husband and I have moved so often we’re kind of masters at it. Within a 4 year span, we managed to live in three different states. During our son’s first year of life, he had three different homes. Moving is kind of a way of life for us, but we’re getting close to settling down permanently.

This time, we’re only moving about an hour and a half away, without traffic. We’ll be much closer to the city and everything a large city like LA offers. It’s great for the kids and will put us much closer to all the cultural offerings I want my kids to have exposure to.

And yet I’m sad. This is the longest we’ve ever lived somewhere. We thought we were going to live in this city forever. This is where our son has spent most of his life. This is where we brought our daughter home to. I had my son’s entire educational trajectory mapped out. He’s been doing well in his playschool program, and I think I’m sadder than he is that he’ll be leaving it. This place has been home.

At the same time, I’m extremely excited. We’re moving to a bigger place where the kids can really spread out and hopefully not end up playing on top of each other, unless they want to. It’s a much more culturally diverse area, which is important to us as we grew up in culturally diverse areas. The LA school district is so sprawling that it has hundreds of schools and we’ll be moving closer to some excellent ones. All in all, we’ll be so much closer to great things and I can’t wait to be much, much closer to the ocean.

I’ve had two long-standing wishes this year.

One, I wanted to move closer to the city. Which we are. It’s on a different side of the city than I would prefer, but it’s still closer to the city. Being about two hours away, with moderate traffic, means we don’t always get to go to the museums, the zoo, the science center that we adore, the observatory, the beaches, the beach cities like Venice and Santa Monica, the concert halls, and so much more. But now we get to. Now taking the kids somewhere fun and interesting doesn’t require massive planning efforts. Hop in the car and be at the beach in about a half hour. Not that I want my kids to grow up to be beach bums, but I do want them to enjoy the beach once in a while. So, I get my wish, but a part of me will always miss this far out suburb where we’ve been raising our children, where there’s open spaces and wide roads, and blessed quiet on weekend mornings.

Two, I wanted more time with my son before he started school. His playschool program started at the end of August. At the beginning of August, I lost my grandmother and an uncle. It was a difficult time and was marked by frequent hospital visits, family gatherings, funerals, viewings, and traveling from here to there and eventually to home. I had wanted the month to just enjoy my son before he was out of my hands for a few hours every week. I was sad I didn’t get this. But, I have to admit, him being in playschool has been nice. With just my daughter and me, it’s been quiet and she finally got all of my attention. Though she did spend much of the first two months just wanting to roll around on the couch for about an hour and a half. She didn’t know how to be without her brother anymore than I did. With this move, he’ll be leaving playschool. I’m furiously trying to both look for a good elementary school we can try to enroll him in through their lottery system and trying to find a preschool program that fits with what I want for him. So, he’ll be home with me again for at least a month or two. I get my second wish. I get him back in my hands full-time. Even though he’s often exhausting, I really do love having him with me. He’s funny and sweet and gives me tons of joy.

My wishes have been granted and I’m happy. But it’s also bittersweet because it means we have to leave a place that’s been home for over three years. Though, in another three years, this new place will be home, too, and then we’ll see whatever new twists life decides to throw our way.

13 thoughts

    1. Even though it’s been hard to remember that, you are so right and I’ve had it playing on repeat in my head. Thank you!

  1. I would love to move closer to a beach. I miss it a lot. The beach is, by the way, a very good part of my adolescence…so I’m very grateful my parents decided to move to a coastal city. It’s not California, but… they call it Kadizfornia 🙂

    1. Mine, too! Even though I’m terrified of being swept out to see, there’s something really special about beaches, what with the treasures that wash up, the warm sun and sand, and the soothing sound of the ocean. I already can’t wait for summer.

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